Cars and… It’s hard to believe I’ve had the M Coupe almost two years and despite my dislike of BMW customer service and the current model range, what dear god have they done to the 3 Series, the little Coupe always manages to make me smile. As a driving machine it has few peers, whereas most current machinery is about disconnecting you from the driving experience the M Coupe almost at times gives you too much. The lack of any traction control and 320bhp through the monster rear tyres makes wet and slippery roads at times….challenging. It’s taken a while but BMW Chiswick have now resolved all the issues that have at times blunted the ownership experience that frankly I don’t expect from a premier brand like BMW. Some truly awful dealerships, my bile and vitriol mainly reserved for Sytners of Sheffield, and a lack of understanding how certain M cars work have lead me to conclude that this is will the last BMW I’ll own. If you have a BMW outside the standard or extended warranty schemes take it to a specialist like Munich Motors or Munch Legends, they know more about BMW cars than BMW do. If you do have an extended warranty as I do, get BMW to do the stuff covered by the warranty and get specialists to do the rest. However it’s been a real tough decision to decide to sell the M. I’m not driving to Reading as much as I used to, once maybe twice a week a week tops, and spend most of my time in London. We’re also going to moving soon, locally if possible, and get another Vizsla. And it’s the last point that's the killer. Izzy fits nicely into the back of the Coupe but sadly she’d be a bit cramped if she had to share the space with a second and potentially larger male Vizsla. So what on earth do I replace it with? There’s nothing I can think of for same money that’s as bonkers supercar fast and I could fit two medium sized gundogs into. Thy only option is leave the world of ‘evo’ style motors and go all sensible. But maybe, as K suggests, there is a sensible option that still allows for some Porsche baiting. A few years back Volvo did a mad version of the 850 called the T5, they then went all silly and released the T5-R and in estate form went touring car racing with it. In standard form it booted out about 250 bhp could worry a 911 and Boxsters were easily shown what the rear of a T5 looked like. Subsequently Volvo revamped the 850 estate and called it the V70, kept the ‘R’ version and thoughtfully added All Wheel Drive to reduce the number of times you’d have to replace the front tyres. It was in production right up the when the current Phase 2 V70 range was introduced in 1999/2000. They are cheap now with low mileage examples changing hands for between 6k and 8k so this will leave a serious piece of change from the M Coupe for a few ‘modifications’, well one really, an ECU upgrade which will release a further 60 ponies without further adjustments to other parts of the car. I can then still get real stomp on if I have to but I can be accompanied by Mrs C, Izzy, her new chum and for the first time since the PT Cruiser some luggage. It is ironic that there are as few, maybe fewer, V70Rs in the UK as there are M Coupes so the transition may take a while. Fun this week as Top Gear Magazine have a free version of the 'Cool Wall' you can stick on your fridge. Just don’t forget to put the new BMW 3 Series, 5 Series X3 and Jeremy Clarkson in the section marked ‘Seriously Uncool’.